When Cynicism Meets Belonging
We sat down with Jeremy Jernigan to talk about life on the margins of certainty, the tension many leaders feel with the modern Church, and what it means to remain rooted without losing honesty. In a cultural moment where more people feel caught between belonging and disillusionment, Jeremy’s new book, On the Edge of the Inside, gives language to the spaces many of us quietly inhabit.
One question that especially resonated with our team at Surge Network was this:
“What does it mean to live ‘on the edge of the inside’ without becoming cynical toward the inside?”
Jernigan responded:
When I first read the question from the Surge Network, I realized I couldn't answer it as asked. That's because the only way I've learned how to find life on the edge of the inside in a healthy way was after I was originally cynical toward the inside itself. I've discovered that's often the journey.
It tends to start with a disillusionment, a question that won't go away, an unexpected life event, or that "curveball" moment that you didn't see coming and now is causing you to rethink things. And to be honest, people often find themselves on the edge only after experiencing something ugly in the center.
If you'll permit me, I'd suggest we think of this as how we can live on the edge of the inside even after we've become cynical about the inside. Because that has been my journey and the journey of countless others I've navigated this conversation with.
It's learning how to acknowledge our cynicism, process whatever we need to from it, and then find a way to keep moving forward. The choice is always to let it make you bitter or to find a way to be better. I think it's okay if you need to be cynical and bitter for a bit. I just wouldn't want anyone to stay there.
It's like having a good cry where your body seems to take on a life of its own, and then the peace you feel afterward. My prayer is that we make room for people to share their grief and disillusionment safely in that moment. This tends to be the best way for someone to let it out and then figure it out.
Then we can live on the edge of the inside without cynicism, not because we never felt cynical, but because we faced it head-on and gave it its place. Rather than walking away, we make a trade with Jesus for something better. And from that posture, we can finally feel that cynicism no longer has a hold on us. We've seen the pain, we've felt it, and now we can make room for others to process it.
It turns out the edge of the inside is still the inside. But at the end of the day, the edge shows you how Jesus keeps inviting us forward. Then we begin to see why Jesus said, "There is so much more I want to tell you..." (John 16:12).
Jeremy Jernigan — www.JeremyJernigan.com
